Curiosity and Happiness
One of the reasons we love spending time with children is it gives us the chance to witness their constant curiosity. They are sponges who always want to learn more about the world around them. There is no limit, as you probably know, to how many times they can ask, "why?"
Given children's inquisitive nature, it's not surprising that Curious George is one of the most successful series of all time, containing children's books, TV shows, movies, and other materials. PBS KIDS now owns the rights to the Curious George tv shows, and here is how they describe why they continue to offer these videos to today's children.
“Aimed at preschoolers, "Curious George" inspires children to explore science, engineering, and math in the world around them. And what better guide is there for this kind of exploration than the world's most curious monkey? George lives to find new things to discover, touch, spill, and chew. Everything is new to George and worth investigating. Of course, in George's hands — all four of them — investigation often leads to unintended consequences! (From the PBS KIDS website).
We especially love the last line that curiosity and investigation "often leads to unintended consequences." As psychotherapists, we witness this regularly, as curiosity is one thing that enhances the well-being of individuals and relationships. When we work with an individual, couple, or family who is "stuck" in some way, we almost always find that they have lost their ability to be curious about their own life and/or their life together. When this is the case, we can almost always help them get "unstuck" by simply being curious about their situation with them. We wonder together why they are stuck. We dig deep with questions. To gain a deeper understanding of what is happening, we work together to ask "why" and to explore new ways of solving a problem.
That's right, we follow the lead of Curious George and the example of young children by continuously asking why and constantly exploring new ways of doing or seeing things. And often, we, and the people we serve, are surprised by the "unintended consequences" that might include a new perspective, enhanced compassion, and understanding, integration of emotions that had been disowned, and greater self-compassion, to name a few.
Given the power of curiosity in helping people to heal, it is worth noting that the word curious comes from the same root as the words cure and care. To be curious is to care enough to get to know others (or yourself, for that matter) for who they really are, rather than simply assuming we already know who they are. Curiosity can also help us understand what they mean by their actions or statements. Remaining curious about another is a way to show we care and can have a healing effect on a relationship.
Think for a moment how wonderfully caring it feels when others are curious enough to take the time to get to know you and who you really are. Or think of a time that you may have initially judged others, only to feel compassion towards them later after you learned more about what was actually going on in their lives.
Our experience, both personally and professionally, repeatedly affirms the wisdom of the quote at the top of this column: "Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness."
Making It Personal
1. Do you see a connection between curiosity and happiness?
2. Can you think of a time when your being judgmental got in the way of being curious about yourself or another?
3. What are you curious about in your life right now?