To Acknowledge Our Grief is To Acknowledge That We Have Loved & Been Loved

To Acknowledge Our Grief is To Acknowledge That We Have Loved & Been Loved

 Grief has many faces and presents itself in a myriad of ways. We are familiar with grief when it shows up as sadness, loneliness, or feelings of emptiness. It may be less evident that grief is commonly the feeling underlying irritability, anger, conflict, excessive drinking, feeling numb, wanting to isolate, and busyness.

  I believe we all grieve during the holidays, one way or another. Maybe this is the first year we are celebrating the holidays since someone we love has died. Maybe there has been a painful break in the family. Or perhaps this is the first holiday since someone has moved away or because of other circumstances, we cannot be with someone we love. And then there are always the poignant feelings of remembering parents, grandparents, and other friends and relatives who have been missing from our holiday gatherings for many years.  

  I am pointing out all the ways that grief can show up this time of year not to make us all sad, but to remind us that whenever we acknowledge our grief, we also acknowledge that we have loved and been loved. It is well-known that repressing or hiding our grief is detrimental to our mental health. Avoiding our grief also prevents us from fully celebrating the love we have shared with those who are no longer part of our day-to-day lives. 

  Many people have been raised with a mindset that it is best not to think about grief, let alone express it. If that is true for you, you may want to consider adopting a new mindset about the importance, and I might even say, the sacredness of grief.  

  So if you find yourself listening to a particular song or hanging a sentimental ornament and suddenly are overcome with grief or sadness, by all means, embrace it. In doing so, you are in that moment, embracing the love that you have shared with the person you are remembering. Take whatever time you need for yourself to acknowledge, feel, and express both your grief and your love.  

Making It Personal

1. What do you think of the idea that when we acknowledge our grief, we acknowledge our love?

2. Who are you missing—what specific grief are you feeling this holiday season?

3. Are you comfortable honoring your grief and maybe even sharing it with others?