Knowing When to Call a Time Out
I (Scott) received more than my fair share of time-outs when I was a kid. Sitting still in school was a challenge for me, and I felt bored much of the time. As a result, I was often given a time-out and had to endure the, in my mind, excruciating experience of sitting in the hall with nothing to do. In high school, it meant I had to occasionally go to a silent study hall during my lunch hour. From my vantage point, this was clearly an” example of cruel and unusual punishment,” although I do remember getting a lot of work done in those silent study halls.
We assume many of us may have some sort of a negative association with time-outs, as we imagine that most of us have at some point been asked to sit on a step or on our bed to think about our being mean, disrespectful, or breaking a rule. As teenagers, we may also remember being grounded, which is just a prolonged time-out. It’s too bad that many of our associations with time-outs are negative, as taking time away is a crucial ingredient to our well-being and is a helpful tool for all of us to have ready for use when we need it.
The March Madness of the NCAA Women’s and Men’s Basketball Tournaments are in full swing and provide the perfect opportunity for us to rethink how we view the role of a time-out. There will be at least one stretch of time in every game when a team is starting to lose control. Shots that were going in easily earlier are now missing the mark, passes are not connecting, and mistakes, stress, and anxiety are escalating. . It is precisely at such a moment that the team’s coach will wisely call a time-out.
The purpose of such a pause in the game is positive and proactive. It is a time to help the players take a deep breath, and reset their game plan, often with valuable perspective and input from the coach. There is nothing punitive about these time-outs; in fact, the players are usually grateful for the chance to regroup. Once the players are back on the court, it is fascinating to see what a positive difference in performance a time out can make.
A positive use of such breaks is not just good for basketball players. Overwhelmed parents have long known the importance of breathing in and counting to ten, thus creating an internal time-out for themselves. They recognize its helpfulness in calming themselves down when they are feeling emotionally flooded. The parental wisdom of the “power of the pause” is good for any of us, especially when we find ourselves “missing too many of our easy shots” or seeing our mistakes and anxiety escalating.
The use of time-outs in schools has evolved. They now teach children the value of taking personal time-outs proactively, much as sports teams do. They are teaching children how to pause and practice mindfulness and how a positive time-out can be helpful no matter what the age.
Every basketball team has a limited number of time-outs to use in each game. However, the rest of us are fortunate to have an unlimited supply, and we can use them whenever needed, knowing that a well-timed time-out can enhance our performance and get us back in the flow with renewed focus and energy.
Making It Personal Prompts:
How do you recognize when it’s time for you to take a time-out?
2. How do you take time-outs and what works well for you?
3. Are you in a need of a time-out right now and, if so, how might you take one soon?