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Find Your Why and You'll Find Your Way
This column is part two of a six-part series on growth and change. While the timing of these columns is related to the beginning of a new year—a time when many people take stock and seek to make a change—what we are writing about here is timeless and applies to any kind of change, whether personal, relational, or organizational.
Most attempts to make a change will fail if they are not connected to a clear "why," or reason for making the change. On our Wellness Compass podcast episode this week, Holly shared a personal story of a change she started making about a year ago. She came to the awareness that our grandchildren are getting older and much more active, and she needed to make some changes to keep up with their abundant energy. She changed her eating habits and started a disciplined routine of working out that now has her feeling much more strength and stamina. As she says on the podcast, "I didn't want to watch my grandkids be active from sitting in my rocking chair." She is more able than ever now to be physically active with them.
On the podcast, she talks about how there are certainly days when she doesn't feel like working out or eating well, but then she remembers her "why"—the reason she is making the change, and when she does that, her resolve stays strong.
Author Simon Sinek writes a great deal about change. He says that most people only focus on the "what" and "how" of a change they want to make, and forget the most essential part—connecting with their "why." For example, a person might decide they want to spend less time on their screens. That is their "what." They may have a "how," a plan about how they will do this. But unless they articulate the deeper "why," their attempt to limit their screen time will likely be short-lived. If, however, they can identify that they want to spend less time on screen so that they can spend more quality time connecting with others, or pursuing other meaningful activities, or getting more sleep, then there is a greater chance they will be able to make a lasting change in their relationship with screens.
All great leaders inspire with a clear "why." Desmond Tutu, who recently passed away, received the Nobel Peace Prize for his tireless work to end apartheid in South Africa. His "why" that kept him going even when facing seemingly insurmountable barriers was deeply grounded in his faith, which taught him that all people are created equal, and that the freedom and dignity of every individual must be affirmed and honored. "What" he did, and "how" he did it may have evolved and adapted to changing circumstances, but his "why' never wavered, and it was what sustained him his entire life. Such is the power of knowing and connecting with our deeper "why."
We all see numerous Christmas trees lying by the street this time of year, waiting to get picked up and recycled. These trees are dry and withered at this point because they were cut off from the root system that nourished them a few months ago. Our desires to change and grow will have the same fate if they are not rooted in a clear and compelling "why."
Making It Personal
What do you think about the quote "Find your why and you'll find your way?"
Can you think of a change you made in your life in the past that was fueled by a clear "why"?
Is there a change you are making now or want to make that would be strengthened by connecting it more clearly to a "why?"