(Click on the player at the top to listen to this ten-minute episode)
What follows is the weekly column we email every Friday that is a companion to this weekly podcast. This podcast episode expands on the content of the column.
This Tuesday, I, Holly, had the privilege of spending my day in a combined Middle and High School (Turner MS/HS in Beloit, WI) for their annual Mental Health Awareness Day. During this Valentine’s week, everyone school-wide had set the day aside to focus on supporting student mental health by engaging in several different relaxing activities, engaging in group discussions on related topics, listening to speakers, and getting acquainted with all kinds of resources and organizations that work to support mental health in their area, Rock County, WI. I was one of those people as I was there to represent our nonprofit Wellness Compass Initiative.
Throughout the day, I had the opportunity to speak with most of the young people (ages 12 -18) and had the honor of listening to their concerns and desires, and meeting their friends. I also told them about this column and the corresponding Wellness Compass podcast. As a bit of research for our column, I asked them this important question: “What kinds of things would you like me to tell the adults who listen to our podcast about what they can do to support teen mental health?”
Here are some of their answers:
Don’t be so judgmental.
Share stories of the mistakes you made when you were young.
Consider how you sound to others. Bossy? Controlling?
Freaking Out? Supportive?
Don’t force things on us, like clubs, activities, and beliefs. Feel free to share your beliefs, but don’t force them on us.
Laugh and have fun with us.
Don’t say it’s just a phase. It is important to us now.
Encourage us.
You can say what you need to say without being mean about it.
Check in with us on a regular basis by asking, “Are you OK?” And then really listen to what we are feeling.
Do things with us, like playing sports, hiking, and playing video games.
Honor our thoughts and opinions.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
Give us hugs.
Don’t make decisions for us.
Take interest in our interests.
Talk with us, not at us - fewer lectures and more listening, please.
As they spoke, I realized that what they were sharing with me could be applied to any relationships that we value and care about. So, on Tuesday, out of the mouths of our young people came their suggestions for staying connected and supporting the mental health of all those we love. How appropriate for right before Valentine’s Day.
Their honest words are a good reminder for each of us as we consider how to express our love to all the important people in our lives this Valentine’s Day.
Which of their suggestions could you give as a gift to someone on this special day?
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ABOUT THE CREATORS:
Holly Hughes Stoner, LMFT and Scott Stoner, LMFT, are both licensed marriage and family therapists who are partners in life and in work. They are the Co-Directors and Co-Creators of the Wellness Compass Initiative, a non-profit initiative that crates preventative wellness materials for adults, families, and teens. They live in Madison, Wisconsin and are the parents of three adult children and are blessed with two grandchildren, as well.