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What follows is the weekly column we email every Friday that is a companion to this weekly podcast. This podcast episode expands on the content of the column.
Back to School: Lifelong Learning in Relationships
As the new school year begins, so does a new season for our Weekly Wellness Compass column and podcast. After a summer break, we're excited to embark on another year of exploration and growth with you. For those unfamiliar with our work, we are the co-founders of the nonprofit Wellness Compass Initiative. For the past sixteen years, we've supported people worldwide on their journey toward wellness and wholeness.
This time of year often inspires a renewed commitment to growth and learning. In that spirit, we've decided to focus this "school year" on relationships—one of the eight areas of wellness in our Wellness Compass Model for Wellbeing. As marriage and family therapists, we've seen how the quality of our relationships profoundly impacts our overall wellbeing, and that's why this year, relationships will be the central theme of our column and podcast.
How we interact with others significantly shapes our lives, whether in marriage, friendship, a family bond, or a workplace relationship. We've learned that being in relationships is a continuous learning process offered to us over the years—both in our personal journeys (we just celebrated 47 years of marriage) and in our professional practices.
We often hear people say, "If only the other person would change, things would be better." It's easy to view our relationships from a distance, pointing out what's wrong with the other person. But the truth is, we are co-creators in every relationship. The way we show up—our energy, words, and actions—significantly shapes these connections.
In our work, we've met many people who feel stuck and frustrated by a partner, child, colleague, or friend. They come to us hoping to change the other person, but we emphasize the power they have within themselves to influence the relationship. This isn't about control; it's about recognizing the impact we can have through our own behavior.
We like to think of this journey as being in a lifelong school of relationships. Just as students return to school to learn and grow, we, too, are continuously learning and growing, as we are all in a multitude of relationships. Relationships are never static. As we change and the people we are in relationships with change, there is always more to learn and practice.
This year, we invite you to become more intentional about your relationships. Whether it's a long-term relationship with established patterns or a new one full of possibilities, you have the power to influence its direction. Even longstanding relationships can change and grow when we approach them with awareness and intention.
Relationships don't just happen to us; we co-create them every day. Let's commit to being lifelong learners in this school of human connection, continuously evolving and enhancing the quality of our relationships—and in turn, our lives.
The bell is about to ring, so we will wrap up this week’s class. We’ll be back next week as we continue learning how to strengthen our relationships together.
Optional Homework: If you had one piece of advice to offer on the key to strong relationships, what would it be? Is there a relationship that is inviting you to learn something new right now?
We also invite you to send us any relationship questions you have so we can know the kinds of concerns that are on our readers’ minds. If we address your question in a future column or podcast, we will, of course, keep your identity anonymous.
Sign up for Your Weekly Wellness Compass to receive weekly an email each week that announces when a new podcast episode has been released and also includes a transcription of the episode for those who prefer to read instead of listen. Each episode is designed to help you for navigate your week ahead with clear attention and intention.
ABOUT THE CREATORS:
Holly Hughes Stoner, LMFT and Scott Stoner, LMFT, are both licensed marriage and family therapists who are partners in life and in work. They are the Co-Directors and Co-Creators of the Wellness Compass Initiative, a non-profit initiative that crates preventative wellness materials for adults, families, and teens. They live in Madison, Wisconsin and are the parents of three adult children and are blessed with two grandchildren, as well.